Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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