after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
