I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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