I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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