so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
