One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
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I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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