Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
