So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
