like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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