She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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