you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
