the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
