I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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