Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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