hell yes lets make some ravioli
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
