I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
