ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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