Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
