I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Just high enough for therapy.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
