on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
