there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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