what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
