plz talk dirty to me
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Randomize
