No, drunk sperm still make babies.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
