It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
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The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
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I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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