He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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