are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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