i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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