Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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