I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize