how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
