I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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