Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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