love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
