he wants to bone in the snuggie
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
50% drunk capacity currently
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
