All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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