I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
