so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
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Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
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He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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