i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
