There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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