Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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