can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize