i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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