haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize