I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Randomize