I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
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Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
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Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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