Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
