So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
