I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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