We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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