I wish I could teleport
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We had sex on a dog bed..
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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