How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
