Just mADE A PArabola og urine
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Randomize
