is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
