I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
