He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
