I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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