I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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