nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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