Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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