This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
