I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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