office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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