clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
