were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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